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Forest Scene

Grass wasn't safe.  She felt her breath catch in her chest as she ran, listening for the sound of people behind her.  She could not tell if the whistle and thud was pursuit or animals in the grass.  All was alien.  Strange. And then a lone shadow appeared, long and lean with branches curving in the dusk sky.   She let out a sigh, wanted to slow but was certain that if she did, she would be caught. So she ran for the next shadow and the next until they gathered around her.  Tall, long and solid.  Their bark rough on her hand as she stumbled, caught herself. Here she could move!  She leaped over roots and underbrush.  She was comforted by the sounds of the night birds and buzzing insects. Here she knew what it meant when the night sounds stopped.  She clamored up a tree and watched the lithe shadow of a predator stalk below her.  Nestled amid boughs and leaves she realized that her pursuers would have no knowledge to look up. She smiled, sank against the welcome tree, console
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Recent posts

Another Week, Another Worry

Last week I'd been worried about having time to write, now I'm here at my meeting with more energy than last week, despite my son having a meltdown early-ish this morning.  Despite a dental visit that let me know, unequivocally, that he needs to have teeth pulled. Well, that made me feel like a bad mom.  But the dentist said he could just be prone to cavities. So that's a thing. Something more to watch out for and worry over. I have my baby shower for baby #2 coming up the first weekend of April and my mom wants to get me a double stroller.  Which would be a nice thing if I had space for something that big... or the kiddo let me put him in a stroller anymore.  He doesn't.  The prospect of being given something that--while well intentioned-- I have no space for and am unlikely to use, is stressful.  Especially after all the work I've made purging and clearing the house of excess.  On that topic, I've resolved to call Goodwill and arrange a pickup for the last
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Storming into March

My efforts to clean and maintain the house progress but there are points when I feel the greatest adversary I have at the moment is the weather.  Bins and boxes of items bound for the Book Den--the local Friends of Library Bookstore-- and the Goodwill have collected in the dining room and every Saturday for the past month or so, the rains have come, discouraging me from pursuing anything outside the house beyond what I must.  I have at least made a weekly habit of "assisting" my mother-in-law with her room, and I have gotten that space sorted so that there is a place for everything.  It should progress to become easier to maintain and, with luck, she will begin to develop the habit of taking care of it herself.  However, as she battles severe depression, I am working at withholding expectations. I have managed to keep up with our dishes for two weeks running and meal planned for a whole month.  Currently I'm working on getting my son on a schedule for napping and sl
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And a Few Weeks Later...

I got my clothes done per the KonMari method.  Then, I broke a little with her her order of things.  We (myself and my husband) got the backroom set up as a playroom/library.  We cleared out a closet that I had been storing clothes and are now storing items with greater purpose.  Due to our limited space, in order to get the tiny kitchen done, I need to get the dining room--which actually isn't my space but belonging to the family member with whom we live--done.  That means taking bins and boxes to Goodwill and the Friends of the Library Book Den. We need to hang up her pictures and get her trash and recycle that she has allowed to collect on surfaces taken care of.  Also, she has things that belong in her room hanging out in the dining space. So those need to move.  She has described how she wants the space set up, so that means we need to do it for her.  (She has been diagnosed with severe, long-term depression which has dramatically impacted her over the past 30 years.  We h
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2019 Goals

In 2019, I want to start making money from my writing.  In order to do so I first need to address the physical and mental clutter that has been holding me back. Then I need a plan to write, edit, secure art work, publish and market a series of self published titles.  I am going to work on having this all together and books published by the end of the year.  The Physical Clutter: I mentioned in my previous post that we have moved a lot.  While times have been rough for us, rental prices have soared in this city.  San Francisco was the only booming economy during the recession, which lead to property prices rising past what people could afford.  That drove people out of the Bay and into the Valley.  As more Bay Area transplants arrived in Sacramento, rental rates have skyrocketed.   So the space in which we are currently living is much smaller than where we've lived before.  In other words, a clutter attractant.  This has driven some pretty intense mom-guilt which definitely t
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Return to Blogging

I blogged once.  Nine years ago.  It feels like a lifetime has elapsed between then and now.  So much has changed and so much has remained exactly the same.  The changes are jobs worked and left. I married my partner of over a decade.  We now have a son. We have moved around Sacramento like a ping pong ball in a competitive table tennis game.  He is facing some serious depression/anxiety that has complicated our life for years and prohibited him from seeing what he is capable of achieving. I have days where I feel like I am trying to hold myself and my world together by strength of will. I have moments where I want to flee into my imagination--where I want to create an alternate house for us and a whole different environment for my son. It is half a goal and half an escape from my grim reality. It's what I do--what I've always done--tried to fight my demons by creating a safe place inside my own mind.  My writing can help too, but finding time for it has been challenging.
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